The Major League Dictatorship

You're killing me.

But seriously, you're KILLING US.

I consider myself a strong voice but that's only because I'm narcissistic beyond the normal human realm.  In reality I am just a normal fan who happens to word things in a humorous and brilliant manner.  See?

Well folks, here's what happened, the Rays started their long road trip against the scum bag Texas Rangers tonight and once again we were robbed in the ninth.  The perpetrator this time however was not the Rangers players themselves but the umpiring staff acting on the behalf of the Texas Rangers.

First of all, I hate to play the 'what if' game but this is freaking baseball, the number one sport where 'what if' applies all of the time.  Anything can happen at any time that's why they play all nine innings.  Rallies, mojo, momentum, karma, will power, whatever you want to call it...I buy in.  I subscribe to the magazine that writes about baseball players feeding off energy.  Hell,  I'm watching on television and I'm feeding off of it.

Second of all, human error is a part of sports.  Yes, it is, and I have defended this practice since I was a wee lad.  Now that I am a slightly bigger lad I hold the same principle but now it's more like, "Human error is a part of sports, sure, but now we have technology to be like, no, you're really wrong on that call."  And because I know that technology exists, and that Major League Baseball has decided to use it for only certain things and not everything makes me want to stick my own head up my ass because then I would truly fit in.

It gets worse, however, because it's not everyday we have a confession.  The umpire who apparently mistook the strike zone for his wife's ass (zing) took a second look, and by gosh oh golly oh gee, he wouldn't have called it a strike a second time.

Thanks.  We all feel better now.

So, you admit you were wrong, and your initial call changed the outcome, but yet we can't do anything about this except shrug our shoulders?

Man, if only there was some overruling figure in baseball that would set little arguments like this to rest by just simply making a decision of his own for once in his life and allowing FULL REPLAY in baseball.  But these are just dreams that are drifting away on the fart of a manatee.  It falls on daft and deaf ears.  He actually covers all the bases.

Bud Selig is too close to being Bud Selig for these last gratifying years that he simply can't make a move on replay in baseball right now.  How could a commissioner who lead us through the Steroids Era ever make such a drastic move?  This man had an All-Star game end in a tie.  I would have rather he personally drove to my house and slapped me in my face and told me what a sucker I was for watching with such eager eyes and that I should be more cynical about things.

Forget about Selig.  He's not important.  The umpires made a mistake tonight, in game seven, and I'm just thankful that it wasn't Game Seven.  I couldn't even imagine...but then again...maybe that's what it takes.

Goodnight, kids, Daddy is upset.