Kingsway Middle School in Swedesboro, New Jersey has officially added new curriculum to their physical education program...skateboarding.
And they said that smoking weed, not cutting your hair, and wearing Vans wouldn't get you far in school!
I would just like the record to show that I am vehemently against this action.
First of all, who still skateboards? Didn't that die out completely in like 2002? I don't even think the most famous skateboarder of all, Tony Hawk, still skateboards. He's 42 for christsakes! Time to put away the knee pads and put on a suit, Tony.
But isn't it a little odd that something like skateboarding, which has always been a symbol and a catalyst for the anti-establishment movement, is now implemented in a public school system?
I mean, what's next? If skateboarding is now being accepted in PHYSICAL EDUCATION classes, are English Lit classes going to make Thrasher magazine a required text?
Don't they know what happens when you introduce a little anarchy into the equation? Revolution!
Furthermore, the school systems are using skateboarding as a replacement for dodgeball!
That's right people, your kids might live in a world without dodgeball.
Dodgeball is a more appropriate life lesson to teach in Phys Ed than skateboarding. Think about it: if you make a mistake, you get hit with a ball. It's a beautiful representation of what happens to you in the real world. Plus, the bigger and stronger usually win over the weak and timid.
What's skateboarding teach? How to snap your arm in half trying to do a switch kickflip down a flight of stairs? Or maybe it's to show the intense ball pain you'll have the first time you try to grind a rail?
They should have just gone for the gusto and brought motocross in. At least they all have hot wives.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Pretty Boy Versus Yellow Boy?
Floyd Mayweather Jr., boxing aficionado and Dancing With The Stars contestant, recently released a video 'statement' where he went on a racially-fueled tirade against fellow boxer, Manny Pacquiao.
Mayweather, who is a perfect 41-0 in competitive boxing, agreed to fight Pacquiao, who is currently ranked as the world's best boxer, but backed out when Pacquiao did not agree to take a blood test.
Many critics saw this as Mayweather being a coward and a chicken so he responded Mel Gibson-esque and attacked Pacquiao verbally with some vicious racist stereotypes.
"As soon as we come off vacation, we're going to cook that little yellow chump," Mayweather eloquently said. As well as, "Once I stomp the midget, I'll make that mother f----- make me a sushi roll and cook me some rice."
Right then. Let's get to it.
Look, I appreciate shit-talking just as much as the next guy but it's a sad day when it's become trite and cliche to release a race hate video.
All kidding aside, why are people losing their minds over this?
Mayweather is a boxer. Is he a racist? Probably, but he's a boxer first and foremost. His job is to literally beat the shit out of the other guy before he gets the shit beat out of himself. Why did we think he was ever going to release a video of something other than hateful sewage? I didn't say he was a physics professor. He's a boxer!
I mean, look at his half-assed apology:
"Forgive me for saying what I said. I was just having fun. I didn't really mean it. Nothing in a bad way. So let's stay on this roller coaster ride and keep riding, baby. It's all love."
HAH! Roller coaster ride? Is he drunk?
When I picture him reading that statement, I always think of that creepy guy at the club who goes up to women he doesn't know who are dancing on the floor and starts grinding on them and when they catch on that he's there and they give him that 'who the hell are you' look and stop dancing to go back to the bar with their girlfriends. Why? Because that creepy guy always says, "Hey, it's all good, baby. It's all good." You know I'm right.
Although, there was some good to come out of this craziness. I discovered the existence of the National Federation of Filipino American Associations.
The NaFFAA (which is the longest acronym ever) released the following gem:
"This disgusting diatribe against Pacquiao is a racial slur against all Filipinos and Filipino Americans and an embarrassment not only to the boxing community, but to all Americans."
Interesting. First of all, why the hell can you no longer insult one person without insulting their entire race? Isn't it natural when you don't like somebody to pray on their insecurities...or yours for that matter? Or not even insecurities exactly, just the most obvious thing that people notice off the bat?
This is called the lazy-eye defense. Anybody who has a lazy-eye is going to be made fun of for that lazy-eye the minute they get in an argument with somebody, especially if lazy-eye guy is the smarter of the two.
So when Mayweather called Pacquiao a 'midget' and a 'yellow chump', he was just enacting lazy-eye defense. He felt cornered and just like all things that are cornered, he lashed out.
Second of all, the NaFFAA is a little inaccurate. Mayweather's rant doesn't even come close to embarrassing the boxing community. This is the same community that had to deal with Mike Tyson, so just stop right there. Tyson was once considered the best boxer around--and then he got convicted of rape and bit a guy's ear off. If the boxing community doesn't have a thick skin by now, I don't think there's any hope left.
Finally, my most favorite of all, how the NaFFAA caps off their statement by saying that this is an embarrassment to ALL Americans.
Isn't assuming the actions of one person being responsible for the actions of an entire community...racist? The very thing that the NaFFAA is speaking against?
Somebody get me a towel over here. I just peed all over the place. It's what I do when I'm frustrated.
Second finally, why, oh why, are there so many Filipino American associations that they need a goddamn federation? A FEDERATION?! What the hell is this? Star Trek?
Mayweather, who is a perfect 41-0 in competitive boxing, agreed to fight Pacquiao, who is currently ranked as the world's best boxer, but backed out when Pacquiao did not agree to take a blood test.
Many critics saw this as Mayweather being a coward and a chicken so he responded Mel Gibson-esque and attacked Pacquiao verbally with some vicious racist stereotypes.
"As soon as we come off vacation, we're going to cook that little yellow chump," Mayweather eloquently said. As well as, "Once I stomp the midget, I'll make that mother f----- make me a sushi roll and cook me some rice."
Right then. Let's get to it.
Look, I appreciate shit-talking just as much as the next guy but it's a sad day when it's become trite and cliche to release a race hate video.
All kidding aside, why are people losing their minds over this?
Mayweather is a boxer. Is he a racist? Probably, but he's a boxer first and foremost. His job is to literally beat the shit out of the other guy before he gets the shit beat out of himself. Why did we think he was ever going to release a video of something other than hateful sewage? I didn't say he was a physics professor. He's a boxer!
I mean, look at his half-assed apology:
"Forgive me for saying what I said. I was just having fun. I didn't really mean it. Nothing in a bad way. So let's stay on this roller coaster ride and keep riding, baby. It's all love."
HAH! Roller coaster ride? Is he drunk?
When I picture him reading that statement, I always think of that creepy guy at the club who goes up to women he doesn't know who are dancing on the floor and starts grinding on them and when they catch on that he's there and they give him that 'who the hell are you' look and stop dancing to go back to the bar with their girlfriends. Why? Because that creepy guy always says, "Hey, it's all good, baby. It's all good." You know I'm right.
Although, there was some good to come out of this craziness. I discovered the existence of the National Federation of Filipino American Associations.
The NaFFAA (which is the longest acronym ever) released the following gem:
"This disgusting diatribe against Pacquiao is a racial slur against all Filipinos and Filipino Americans and an embarrassment not only to the boxing community, but to all Americans."
Interesting. First of all, why the hell can you no longer insult one person without insulting their entire race? Isn't it natural when you don't like somebody to pray on their insecurities...or yours for that matter? Or not even insecurities exactly, just the most obvious thing that people notice off the bat?
This is called the lazy-eye defense. Anybody who has a lazy-eye is going to be made fun of for that lazy-eye the minute they get in an argument with somebody, especially if lazy-eye guy is the smarter of the two.
So when Mayweather called Pacquiao a 'midget' and a 'yellow chump', he was just enacting lazy-eye defense. He felt cornered and just like all things that are cornered, he lashed out.
Second of all, the NaFFAA is a little inaccurate. Mayweather's rant doesn't even come close to embarrassing the boxing community. This is the same community that had to deal with Mike Tyson, so just stop right there. Tyson was once considered the best boxer around--and then he got convicted of rape and bit a guy's ear off. If the boxing community doesn't have a thick skin by now, I don't think there's any hope left.
Finally, my most favorite of all, how the NaFFAA caps off their statement by saying that this is an embarrassment to ALL Americans.
Isn't assuming the actions of one person being responsible for the actions of an entire community...racist? The very thing that the NaFFAA is speaking against?
Somebody get me a towel over here. I just peed all over the place. It's what I do when I'm frustrated.
Second finally, why, oh why, are there so many Filipino American associations that they need a goddamn federation? A FEDERATION?! What the hell is this? Star Trek?
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