Kids, I'm a big fan of boxing and it's widely known (through my tens of supporters) that Muhammad Ali is my favorite athlete of all-time. He was the mixture of talk and walk that just appeals to smug jerks like me.
Greatness hasn't boxed in a long time (but they still play his fights on ESPN Classic so you should watch them...except the Thrilla in Manila because he almost dies...but other than that...watch them) and with his departure boxing hasn't been all that popular. The best boxer since him has probably been Mike Tyson but he's balls crazy and that distracts us from his brilliance.
Then for years since we've had the running battle between Manny Pacquiao and Floyd Mayweather about which of them is the best boxer of this generation but the funny thing was that they never fought each other. I've been dying for this fight because of, well, a few reasons really.
First off, boxing is playing second fiddle to UFC these days and that makes me sad because I really hate UFC. Two Cro-Magnons in thongs groping at each other for five minutes at a time is only sport in really weird gay mansions. Don't get me wrong, UFC has entertainment value just like the Coliseum used to have for ancient Romans. If there's one common vein throughout humanity it's that we like to see gorillas try to tear their heads off each other. Boxing is different. They tend to do things like, you know, defense. The Sport of Kings is horse racing but if there's a Hobby of Kings it has to be boxing. It's regal and brutal at the same time.
Second of all, there's bad blood between these two. Mayweather has gone on drunken racist Vegas rants about Pacquiao and has questioned his integrity of the sport by demanding blood tests. These two veritably hate each other and that always makes for a great fight. The last time I can remember a great fight when the two fighters hated each other so much was probably...sigh...the Thrilla in Manila. The Fight of Last Century took place between the same two men that fought in Manila but what if this is the Fight of OUR Century?! Which leads me to my next point...
Don't we deserve to know? Who is it? Is it Pacquiao or Mayweather? Which one do I get to gloat to my children about witnessing as the best of THIS generation? This is the only way--they HAVE to fight each other. Boxing, like most great sports, has become heavily commercialized and there's a lot of money involved these days. This bout is going to be the biggest money maker of them all but I'm asking you to put aside all those trivial dollars. At the end of the day it's two men in the ring and one of them will win and that will finally answer a question we've asked for a long time.
Sure, they're older, but great boxers don't age like you and me. Great boxers have a fire that dies out long after their bodies should. Without question this will be a great fight. Mayweather is undefeated, a perfect 47-0! Not one slip up in almost fifty bouts? Come on. Pacquiao is considered the best poud-for-pound fighter right now and that's just a nice way of saying he's a tough little guy. I'm just kidding. He could punch through my chest.
May 2nd. I'm clearing my calendar and I suggest you do the same.
Showing posts with label Manny Pacquiao. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Manny Pacquiao. Show all posts
Saturday, February 21, 2015
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Pretty Boy Versus Yellow Boy?
Floyd Mayweather Jr., boxing aficionado and Dancing With The Stars contestant, recently released a video 'statement' where he went on a racially-fueled tirade against fellow boxer, Manny Pacquiao.
Mayweather, who is a perfect 41-0 in competitive boxing, agreed to fight Pacquiao, who is currently ranked as the world's best boxer, but backed out when Pacquiao did not agree to take a blood test.
Many critics saw this as Mayweather being a coward and a chicken so he responded Mel Gibson-esque and attacked Pacquiao verbally with some vicious racist stereotypes.
"As soon as we come off vacation, we're going to cook that little yellow chump," Mayweather eloquently said. As well as, "Once I stomp the midget, I'll make that mother f----- make me a sushi roll and cook me some rice."
Right then. Let's get to it.
Look, I appreciate shit-talking just as much as the next guy but it's a sad day when it's become trite and cliche to release a race hate video.
All kidding aside, why are people losing their minds over this?
Mayweather is a boxer. Is he a racist? Probably, but he's a boxer first and foremost. His job is to literally beat the shit out of the other guy before he gets the shit beat out of himself. Why did we think he was ever going to release a video of something other than hateful sewage? I didn't say he was a physics professor. He's a boxer!
I mean, look at his half-assed apology:
"Forgive me for saying what I said. I was just having fun. I didn't really mean it. Nothing in a bad way. So let's stay on this roller coaster ride and keep riding, baby. It's all love."
HAH! Roller coaster ride? Is he drunk?
When I picture him reading that statement, I always think of that creepy guy at the club who goes up to women he doesn't know who are dancing on the floor and starts grinding on them and when they catch on that he's there and they give him that 'who the hell are you' look and stop dancing to go back to the bar with their girlfriends. Why? Because that creepy guy always says, "Hey, it's all good, baby. It's all good." You know I'm right.
Although, there was some good to come out of this craziness. I discovered the existence of the National Federation of Filipino American Associations.
The NaFFAA (which is the longest acronym ever) released the following gem:
"This disgusting diatribe against Pacquiao is a racial slur against all Filipinos and Filipino Americans and an embarrassment not only to the boxing community, but to all Americans."
Interesting. First of all, why the hell can you no longer insult one person without insulting their entire race? Isn't it natural when you don't like somebody to pray on their insecurities...or yours for that matter? Or not even insecurities exactly, just the most obvious thing that people notice off the bat?
This is called the lazy-eye defense. Anybody who has a lazy-eye is going to be made fun of for that lazy-eye the minute they get in an argument with somebody, especially if lazy-eye guy is the smarter of the two.
So when Mayweather called Pacquiao a 'midget' and a 'yellow chump', he was just enacting lazy-eye defense. He felt cornered and just like all things that are cornered, he lashed out.
Second of all, the NaFFAA is a little inaccurate. Mayweather's rant doesn't even come close to embarrassing the boxing community. This is the same community that had to deal with Mike Tyson, so just stop right there. Tyson was once considered the best boxer around--and then he got convicted of rape and bit a guy's ear off. If the boxing community doesn't have a thick skin by now, I don't think there's any hope left.
Finally, my most favorite of all, how the NaFFAA caps off their statement by saying that this is an embarrassment to ALL Americans.
Isn't assuming the actions of one person being responsible for the actions of an entire community...racist? The very thing that the NaFFAA is speaking against?
Somebody get me a towel over here. I just peed all over the place. It's what I do when I'm frustrated.
Second finally, why, oh why, are there so many Filipino American associations that they need a goddamn federation? A FEDERATION?! What the hell is this? Star Trek?
Mayweather, who is a perfect 41-0 in competitive boxing, agreed to fight Pacquiao, who is currently ranked as the world's best boxer, but backed out when Pacquiao did not agree to take a blood test.
Many critics saw this as Mayweather being a coward and a chicken so he responded Mel Gibson-esque and attacked Pacquiao verbally with some vicious racist stereotypes.
"As soon as we come off vacation, we're going to cook that little yellow chump," Mayweather eloquently said. As well as, "Once I stomp the midget, I'll make that mother f----- make me a sushi roll and cook me some rice."
Right then. Let's get to it.
Look, I appreciate shit-talking just as much as the next guy but it's a sad day when it's become trite and cliche to release a race hate video.
All kidding aside, why are people losing their minds over this?
Mayweather is a boxer. Is he a racist? Probably, but he's a boxer first and foremost. His job is to literally beat the shit out of the other guy before he gets the shit beat out of himself. Why did we think he was ever going to release a video of something other than hateful sewage? I didn't say he was a physics professor. He's a boxer!
I mean, look at his half-assed apology:
"Forgive me for saying what I said. I was just having fun. I didn't really mean it. Nothing in a bad way. So let's stay on this roller coaster ride and keep riding, baby. It's all love."
HAH! Roller coaster ride? Is he drunk?
When I picture him reading that statement, I always think of that creepy guy at the club who goes up to women he doesn't know who are dancing on the floor and starts grinding on them and when they catch on that he's there and they give him that 'who the hell are you' look and stop dancing to go back to the bar with their girlfriends. Why? Because that creepy guy always says, "Hey, it's all good, baby. It's all good." You know I'm right.
Although, there was some good to come out of this craziness. I discovered the existence of the National Federation of Filipino American Associations.
The NaFFAA (which is the longest acronym ever) released the following gem:
"This disgusting diatribe against Pacquiao is a racial slur against all Filipinos and Filipino Americans and an embarrassment not only to the boxing community, but to all Americans."
Interesting. First of all, why the hell can you no longer insult one person without insulting their entire race? Isn't it natural when you don't like somebody to pray on their insecurities...or yours for that matter? Or not even insecurities exactly, just the most obvious thing that people notice off the bat?
This is called the lazy-eye defense. Anybody who has a lazy-eye is going to be made fun of for that lazy-eye the minute they get in an argument with somebody, especially if lazy-eye guy is the smarter of the two.
So when Mayweather called Pacquiao a 'midget' and a 'yellow chump', he was just enacting lazy-eye defense. He felt cornered and just like all things that are cornered, he lashed out.
Second of all, the NaFFAA is a little inaccurate. Mayweather's rant doesn't even come close to embarrassing the boxing community. This is the same community that had to deal with Mike Tyson, so just stop right there. Tyson was once considered the best boxer around--and then he got convicted of rape and bit a guy's ear off. If the boxing community doesn't have a thick skin by now, I don't think there's any hope left.
Finally, my most favorite of all, how the NaFFAA caps off their statement by saying that this is an embarrassment to ALL Americans.
Isn't assuming the actions of one person being responsible for the actions of an entire community...racist? The very thing that the NaFFAA is speaking against?
Somebody get me a towel over here. I just peed all over the place. It's what I do when I'm frustrated.
Second finally, why, oh why, are there so many Filipino American associations that they need a goddamn federation? A FEDERATION?! What the hell is this? Star Trek?
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