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Friday, January 25, 2013

In Support of Man Kicks Boy

It being 2013 and all now, Chelsea winger Eden Hazard thought that maybe this might be the year that we can finally get away with kicking children.

Turns out we still can't and this really bums me out because we all know a few little brats that deserve a swift roundhouse to the rib cage.  They just get away with too much these days...where's the morality?!

Chelsea was playing Swansea in a League Cup semifinal match when the ball went out of bounds and right into the awaiting arms of little, innocent 17-year old Charlie Morgan.  Morgan then scooped it up and over came Hazard who had proper claim to the ball.  Morgan didn't give it up and when Hazard went to take it, Morgan hugged it and dropped to the ground like he was covering a live grenade for his army buddies in the trenches.

Here's the thing about soccer: the clock never stops ticking.  It was late in the match--the playoff match mind you--and now a supporter of the other team is keeping the ball from you.  How do I know the ball boy was supporting the other team?  Because his father is Martin Morgan, a director of Swansea, the team that Chelsea was playing!

Hazard starts out just trying to poke the ball free from the death grip of the ball boy and still the little brat wouldn't give it up!  Hazard finally wrestles the ball free but by that point frustration had completely set in and when that happens the human body can't be held responsible for actions of the brain.  Hazard brought his foot up and gave Morgan a quick jab to the midsection.

And all Hell breaks loose!  Morgan is down on the ground, writhing in pain, needs to be helped to his feet by two attendants.  Meanwhile, Hazard is shown the red card of death and has to leave the match.  The match ends in regulation with a score of 0-0 and Chelsea loses to Swansea 2-0 in aggregate time.

Now the Football Association is saying the automatic three-game ban for Hazard is not enough punishment and will announce further sanctions.

Well folks, the British are wrong again!  Why is Hazard being martyred for this?  Did anybody else read what I just wrote?

Some snobby little rich kid for the other team was deliberately stalling the match!  And, for the record, Morgan is 17 and Hazard is 22, this isn't some forty-year old man punting a six-year old in the face.  This was a simple, quick, "you shouldn't have done that" jab to the ribs.  A just punishment for the crime--a punishment that the little douche needed.

Look, Morgan is filthy rich and he's not going to have to work hard his entire life and is going to get anything and everything he wants.  Hazard is an athlete, an athlete that was caught up in the passion of the match.  He was being kept from his goal to win and in this day and age we should be supporting our athletes who refuse to be denied to win.

He didn't even kick him that hard!  Morgan totally played it up that he was hurt to further draw attention to himself and delay the match even further.  He's a disgrace--not a victim!

Don't be mad at Hazard.  Be glad that some rich little snot got his just desserts for one day in his entire existence.  I'll be sleeping soundly tonight.

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