It's "better time", like what can we do to be better? Usually, I'll just spout off on some wild tangent about some random topic that I happen to know about for absolutely no reason. Every once and a while I'll hit on something that resonates with the lil' horned horsies. Speaking of lil' horsies, I'm sure we're all familiar with the colloquial term "dog and pony show." But did you know that it was a real thing?
People back in the 19th century that lived out in the sticks and couldn't make it to the big city to see the circus would get their own little treat when a troupe of performing dogs and small horses would come by and do their act. It was pretty much what you expected and not very exciting, but these weren't exactly the kinds of crowds that needed much more than that to feel alive. Shakira wasn't readily available at the time.
My favorite thing about all of this is that the guy who started these shows originally called it his "equine and canine paradox" and that's about the best goddamn name for something I've ever heard. I'm no musician but I'm about to become one so I can name my band that. I'm thinking death metal is most appropriate.
Kids, I want you to succeed. I have nothing but high hopes in all your endeavors. It would mean the most to me if you just followed your dreams. It's important.
We can be so much better.
Goddammit, we spend so much time fighting each other and trying to get one up on each other that shady motherfuckers think they can turn a profit on our misfortune and things like goddamn prediction markets turn up.
It makes me sick. You can't win. You can't. They don't operate like that. They take advantage of people that have passion and emotion and use it against them. They turn the very thing you love against you.
There is a very clear and damning cloud of sports gambling hanging over this country right now and I have the luxury of being a fan of shitty ass teams, so I've never been tempted to drop my mortgage payment on a "sure" thing, but insert your goddamn name here!
Prediction market. Get fucked. I hate Kalshi, and Draft Kings, and whatever the fuck else ESPN is peddling these days. It's a goddamn trap, kids, and I don't want any of you to fall into it.
What a time to be alive! You can literally gamble on which player farts on the broadcast first! Isn't that fun?! By the way, we take several credit cards on file. It's a sham. It's a dog and pony show, kids. We market it as something different, because nobody gives a flying shit about literal dogs and ponies, but that's all it is! We're falling victim to a trick that's been around since the 1800's. What the fuck are we paying for? Hopes and dreams? Thoughts and prayers?!
They'll take your house and not bat an eye.
Better, not bettor. Remember, graceful swans.
