King Crowns and Crab Legs

For the first time in a long time, kids, I don't even know where to start.

I guess for the sake of all media we're bound to start with Donald Sterling and how he used to own the Los Angeles Clippers.

If there's one thing that I have no tolerance for, and saying 'I', I also hope to include the genuine American public as well because that's where I make my home and that's where I have no tolerance for bigotry or racism or supremacy or whatever the Hell they call it these days.

No tolerance.  In fact if we've gotten to the point where we communicate on a regular basis, exchange a few anecdotes every now and then, maybe even talk about our personal lives a little bit and you go and say something racist in jest...well...I've just shut down.  My immediate reaction is strictly brainwaves.  My brain goes into immediate 'How do I phase this person out of my life' protocol.  The physical response is a deep sigh and my head kinda tilts down like I've just been deactivated.  You know what I mean.

I've read the transcripts of the Sterling tapes.  I've heard the Sterling tapes.  I've seen the punishment wrought by the NBA and new commissioner Silver.  The immediate response is to stand up and applaud Silver...but that damn brain of mine just won't stop there.

For those of you that don't follow the NBA this is Silver's first year as commissioner following the Evil Sith Lord, David Stern.  So already off the bat we have a first-year commissioner that's following one of the most controversial commissioners in the history of the NBA and he's faced with an owner that's being accused of racism.

I hate to get all Star Trek V: The Final Frontier on you, but Kirk asks, "What does God need with a spaceship?"  And I'm just sitting here wondering what a white racist wants with an NBA team.

Here's the biggest thing that I had a problem with Mr. Sterling and his elocution to his girlfriend over the phone is that I felt, over many things, is that he made himself a Pharaoh.  I feed them, I clothe them, and they only have what they have because of me.  That's the gist of his speech.

In case you aren't getting the gist of my speech, in essence, Sterling saw human beings as commodities that he had bought and used to try to win in a sports game.  At that point and juncture we wave bye-bye to you because you represent all that is wrong with the world and I mean that wholly.  As far as being human, you failed miserably, and I can't wait until you're banned from the Earth and not just the NBA.

And that's all good and makes sense in mankind logic.  But did Silver do that to make himself popular in the eye of the public?  Ehhhh...probably.  And are the owners going to follow suit and oust Sterling as owner of the Clippers?  Yep.  Why?  Because that makes us all happy.  It's not enough that this guy has been a poison for years but he always had money.  NOW all of a sudden when the media eye is on us we focus on morals.

How ironic.



Now we turn our heads, ever so slightly, to Jameis Winston.  If you're not familiar with Jameis he's the latest recipient of the Heisman Trophy and the quarterback of the National Champion Florida State Seminoles...and he can't stay out of the news.

You all heard last year when he was involved in a sexual assault case that was eventually dropped because there wasn't enough evidence to go to trial and it also helped that the guy in question was uber-popular.  Look, I wrote an article last year about Johnny Manziel acting a fool all over the place because he had already adopted the playboy lifestyle before he got paid and it looked bad for him.

Listen to me, this is something COMPLETELY different.  Jameis Winston is officially on "Eh, we're kinda afraid of him" after he's been on the "Definitely going number one" list for a year.

Mr. Winston was recently cited, in Tallahassee, at a grocery store, for not paying for thirty-two dollars worth of crab legs.

WHAT?! 

You have no sense in your head to not get yourself in trouble over stealing some crab legs when in about a year and a month you can literally bathe in crab legs and dry yourself off in crab legs?!  By the way, when you get out of the tub you can step on crab legs too.

$32.  That's pathetic.

What we have to understand is that even though he's a Heisman winner and also quarterbacked the National Champion team is that he's not rich yet.  He won't be rich for another year.  I understand some NCAA players get hungrier than their stipends or scholarships allow.  That's why they don't eat crab legs.  They eat what they can afford and look forward to the day when they can buy crab legs and not bat an eye.  Jameis Winston apparently takes what he wants whenever.

That's a huge red flag, not only as an NFL prospect, but as a person.  If I could talk to him I would just look him in the eyes and say, "Come on, dude!"

Siiiiiggggghhhh...see you kids after the draft next week.