Water Cooler Musings

It's been eleven years since the Miami Dolphins have started 3-0 so you'll have to bear with me for one moment...okay...let's move on.

What?  You thought this would be a giant love-fest over the Miami Dolphins?  Don't get me wrong--I couldn't be prouder and for a long, long time it's in the offense more than the defense.  My little Fuzzby, Ryan Tannehill, is growing up and dare I say trying to reach Furby status.  I'm proud of his composure, I'm proud of his ability to lead game-winning drives in perilous situations but the thing that I'm most proud of is that...well...if Miami has the ball and is one score away from winning it I officially have full faith in my little Fuzzby.  I trust him to get it done.  I am officially off of "here's where we blow it" status.

But I'm not on "WOOO! SUPER BOWL TIME! XOXOXOXOXO! GO DOLPHINS!"

And hopefully I'll never be that guy but I'm a grounded individual and it's a tough sport we're playing here and it's going to get tougher before it gets easier.  What have the Dolphins achieved in starting 3-0?  Well for one, they've made me tremendously happy.  I haven't been excited like this for football in over a decade.  But that's where it ends for me.  I'm excited.  Miami heads to New Orleans next Monday night for our first national stage game in over a year in enemy territory against the also undefeated Saints.  This is a tough game here for the 'Phins.  Win this and then I'll start using the Studly Pastures for our official Super Bowl or Bust campaign.

Speaking of things that haven't happened in a long, long time...the Kansas City Chiefs are also undefeated at 3-0!  I don't think Denver and New England are nervous just quite yet but they are definitely scratching their heads and thinking, "What? No cake walk this year?"  Nope.

I like Alex Smith.  He was drafted No.1 overall in an 'eh' draft year and never seemed to really be accepted by his team even though he started doing 'eh' and then grew into a consistent player.  Then he got hurt and never retained his job because Jim Harbaugh is still searching for his next Andrew Luck.  So he got traded to the Chiefs, the 'worst' team in the league last year (Jacksonville) and now he's got this awesome 'Screw you, I'll show you all!' attitude and it's paired with Andy Reid's 'Screw you, I'll just stand here with the same expression on my face' and it appears to be working so far in Kansas City.

And now here's where I completely disavow the Cleveland Browns as an NFL franchise.

Are you kidding me?  What's your deal?  Do you like completely tormenting your fan-base year after excruciating year?

Let's step back for a second: last year you drafted Trent Richardson with the third overall pick and then you traded back into the first round to get Brandon Weeden.  I never liked the Weeden pick, considering he's almost two years older than me and got to throw passes to Dez Bryant in college (making his numbers look a lot better) but you thought he was your saving grace, right?  Well things didn't turn out so well last year and you brought in a new regime this year.  They don't think Weeden is the answer either so they want to stockpile some draft picks and move up and be able to take one of the college quarterbacks coming out this year (the Teddy Bridgewaters and Johnny Manziels of the world).  So...your solution was to trade Trent Richardson to the Indianapolis Colts.

Richardson had a very productive year last year but at the very least was your most dynamic playmaker on offense.  The CEO of the Browns who doesn't deserve to have his name listed here came on after the trade and said that the Browns were looking to be successful in the future...by trading their best weapon.

Okay, sure, let's assume they were actually trying to get better like he says by getting the Colts' first round draft pick.  Indianapolis was a playoff team last year and should at least contend for a spot this year.  That puts their pick at around No. 23 to about No. 25.  Cleveland, hopeless as all Hell, could have a top five draft pick if they keep losing.

But there it is, kids, they can't even LOSE correctly!

If you are telling your fanbase that you are laying down the rest of the 2013 season to make for a better future then why did you go and defeat the hapless Minnesota Adrian Peterson's?  Couldn't you have beaten them and still retained Trent Richardson?

That's a rhetorical question, Cleveland, and since you don't know what that word means I'll just spare you and say, YES, you could have won that game, kept Trent Richardson, and still been shitty enough to get a top five draft pick to get one of those quarterbacks.  Now we're just running in circles chasing our own asses.

Well that's it for now, kids, gotta save some stuff for later to stay relevant (oxymoron).  By the way, if the line for the Dolphins-Saints game is Saints +7 or above, put your money on the 'Phins.