Signs of the Apocalypse

The Miami Dolphins are going to defeat the Houston Texans on September 9th.

Guaranteed.

Okay, I understand all the surrounding facts, I really do.  And just in case you don't, I will take the liberty to fill you in.

First, the most glaring in my eyes: The Miami Dolphins have never defeated the Houston Texans.  Ever.

Second, the Houston Texans have seemingly built a solid franchise coming off their first playoff year ever.

Third, the Miami Dolphins are not even close to what I just said about the Texans.

All conventional signs point to a horrible lopsided loss for the Dolphins.

But listen to me.  The NFL is not a conventional sport.  The only thing that is a bettor's worst nightmare is college basketball.  You can't ever accurately predict what will happen in the NFL.  And the NFL thrives on this.  It loves it's parity.  It's anybody's game at any time.

I also understand why you think "of course he'll say the Dolphins will win, he's a Dolphins fan!"
False.  While I hinge my entire heart beat on the play of the Dolphins, I will always tell you like it is.  It's my nature.

So here it is, kids, why the Dolphins will beat the Texans.  How about the wild card effect?  The Miami Dolphins are unveiling a new head coach, a new offensive coordinator, and a new starting quarterback that is fresh from college.  How do you game plan against that?  You have no idea what this trio is efficiently capable of.  Secrets are our best ally right now.

In 2003, in their second year of existence, the Houston Texans opened the season against a heavily favored Miami Dolphins team.  The Texans won on a last second field goal.  How about the retaliation card?  Why can't we return the favor to a playoff hung-over team that is not expecting a fight from a dog that has no business fighting?

The Texans' greatest weapon is Arian Foster, a running back.  The Dolphins have a staunch running defense.  Their middle is solid and the ends are fast.  If Foster does find room, the Phins will be in trouble, but if he is shut down...who knows?

Also, something should be said for the team that has everything to prove and the team that really doesn't give a crap.  The Tannehill Dolphins have things that they need to establish as early as week one.  Matt Shaub and his Texans?  They can take a week off.  Their division, the AFC South, is pretty weak.  The Texans are a favorite to win it all--forget the division--so why can't they overlook a team like the Dolphins?

I'm telling you.  Dolphins beat the Texans 31-28.