The Magic Man

Rumors are swirling out of Orlando that former Magic player and movie genie, Shaquille O'Neal, wants to be the new general manager of the Orlando Magic.

Before we get too far ahead of ourselves here, let's keep in mind a couple of things: one, the report was made by Chris Broussard who I wouldn't trust to sell me a sack of oranges.  Secondly, Shaq has zero official front office experience and this is a really crucial time for the Magic to not make any mistakes when assembling their front office team.

But the beautiful thing is that the Studly Pastures doesn't need to be the pinnacle of journalism integrity and I get to do fun things like assume that Shaq not only interviews for the GM job but is also hired for the position.

First off, Dwight Howard would be a veritable moron if he didn't think Shaq would be perfect for bringing talent of a superstar nature to Orlando.  This is the same guy that once convinced Gary Payton and Karl Malone to come and play for the Lakers for twenty bucks and a ham sandwich.

And if Dwight does decide that, yes, he is indeed a moron, then Shaq would execute a trade that wouldn't put the Magic in purgatory for the next five years.

But the thing that might be even more important than either one of those things is that Shaq brings about a grandiose about him that would keep the Magic in relevancy as long as he was here.  They would always be in the news.

Shaq has always been the class clown of the NBA and his presence outside of basketball has been equally strong to his on court persona.  He made movies, most of them shitty, he made rap albums, most of those shitty too, but his video game was semi-okay.  His permeation into mainstream culture would keep people curious about the Orlando Magic.

However, there are also a few eyebrow raisers that would point to Shaq's career and wonder if he would treat his front office job the same way.  You see, Shaq went about his NBA life as the most dominant force of his time and never really seemed to care that he was.  There was never any Jordan Killer in him, or hell, any Kobe Killer for that matter.

There is no indication that he would be different as a GM than he was as a player.  Shaq's concerns were always with turning Shaq the person into Shaq the brand.  And it worked for him but would it work as the man in charge of a franchise?

What the Magic need to decide is if they have the chops to handle the circus.  If they do, then Shaq is their man.  If they don't, then they throw a bunch of cash at Doc Rivers and pray.

The future of basketball in Orlando is currently hanging in the balance.

I just can't believe I wrote this entire thing without referencing Kazaam even once!