Solidarity

Anybody who keeps up with the Studly Pastures knows that I keep track of my readership statistics to get a better idea of who exactly is my target audience.

The tricky part is that there is no rhyme or reason to it.

This month, the country that's leading the way in most visits to the SP is...wait for it...France...of all places.  While I embrace the motherland and it brings a glimmer to my eye that they turn to the prodigal son for commentary on the decay of Western society I can't help but think that France is beating us.

Rodney Harrison was doing his best impression of somebody who has something to say last night during halftime of the Steelers and Panthers game and mentioned how he thought the Denver Broncos earned a "moral victory" for taking the Seattle Seahawks to overtime.  The only problem with that statement is that the Denver Broncos failed to get the actual victory.  Maybe I'm just an inconsolable loser when it comes to term but if anybody offered me a "moral victory" they would probably be punched directly in the face.

The most ironic thing, of course, is that the whole basis of a "moral victory" is that yeah, you lost, but you lost defending your principles.  Your principles!  The National Football League is a League of Shadows--they have no principles!  You cannot forsake everything good in the quest for the most dollar bills and still have "moral victories."

Roger Goodell is a puppet operated by 32 rich white men that have forsaken their principles.  If you see a video of a man striking a woman out of her shoes and your first thought is "Let's make this go away so it doesn't cost us too much money" then you are officially no longer on the same moral thread as the rest of humanity.  I lambasted Donald Sterling for holding people in the same regard as commodities and this is the same goddamn thing!  Goodell stood at a podium on Friday afternoon and not only tried to rationalize violence but also the process in which rich white men try to cover up violence so that it doesn't cost them money.  No accountability.  This is a common theme among kingdoms built upon pillars of bullshit.

Dollar, dollar bills, y'all.  The NFL is a rotten institution in the fact that 32 rich white men can pledge their full support to a shell of a man that TRIES TO COVER UP ABUSE!!!  It's so goddamn maddening that it's almost impossible to understand that this is actually happening in real life and not some shitty Lifetime movie.  My apologies to Lifetime but they really do exploit anything and everything that I'm sure they're just salivating over this whole facade.  By the way, Lifetime, Kevin Hart should play Ray Rice, Kerri Washington should play Janay Palmer, and Gary Busey should play Commissioner Goodell but don't tell him he's being Commissioner Goodell and have him just be Gary Busey.

I don't have any human children yet (my dogs could care less) but it has to be really, really hard to explain to them why the Ravens released Ray Rice--or why Adrian Peterson isn't playing anymore.  What do you tell the kids?  Hell, tell them the truth.  One day they will have to make a choice between being a good person or a bad person.  It's just so depressing that a lot of people, even people we try to like or admire, go with Option B.  Kids, stick to the comic book heroes.  They're the only ones that actually come through at the end of the day.

So kudos to you, France, for coming to your chosen one to receive your weekly report on why we suck so bad.  Hopefully this means that you'll open your doors to me once the NFL sends their goons after me.  The NFL shows no discretion.  The NFL will beat your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free.  The NFL is the honey badger.  The NFL doesn't give a fuck.

Peace out, France.  Float on, you graceful swans.