Said The Horse To The Dolphin

Hey Miami Dolphins, we couldn't help but notice that you have won your last three games in a row! Good for you! That's a really impressive stat, especially when you look at your 0-7 start. We'll be rooting for you when you play the Cowboys on Thanksgiving.

Of course we will. We'll be cheering and laughing at the same time. While your inbred, ridiculous fans cheer on an unimportant winning streak in the mire of a lost season, we'll be cheering on the guaranteed prospect of Andrew Luck.

You stupid ingrates, you were just too proud, weren't you? You were just too good to lose out, weren't you? You never had the guts to suck up in the first place and choke to death on. It's Andrew Luck! The can't miss, next Peyton, thing-you-haven't-had-in-forever Quarterback!

We were willing to alienate our fan-base from the announcement of Peyton's second...er...we think...neck surgery. We shoved 'some guy' into the fire after the third(?) surgery and gosh dangit, would you know it? He sucks. Somehow, we find our lucky, giving-up asses on the verge on the next Peyton. Suck it, Miami.



I hope the break was enough. If it wasn't, this is my voice now, not the Indianapolis Colts...not sure why I had to insult myself so early in the beginning...

Of course I knew why I had to bash myself. I lost my path. I got swept up in that (damn) media story of the next 'Dan Marino' and hoping it was some guy like me only from Stanford, taller, stronger, better thrower, and way prettier. I'm no Andrew Luck, Andrew Luck is no Dan Marino, and Dan Marino is no Matt Moore. Matt Moore is not a great quarterback. He's a great quarterback RIGHT now. The Dolphins have won THREE games. THREE years from now, he might be selling insurance, but that's the point. I don't care about tomorrow; I care about right now. Go Matt Moore, Go!

I hope that Andrew Luck is the payment that was coming on the blood diamond that was Peyton Manning. If only Andrew Luck would simply venture down the path of Ryan Leaf-dom, then all would be right in the world of the NFL. And I simply say that, because in my weird ass head, that seems fair. Live in mediocrity at best for a decade, Colts. Christ, would it kill you?

Look, Andrew Luck might be the next greatest quarterback of all-time OR he might be THE greatest quarterback of all-time. My point is, he's not playing for the Dolphins, so shit on him.