Brongasm

NBA superstar LeBron James will announce tomorrow night where he's going to sign his much anticipated contract decision.

James will announce his decision during a live one-hour television event that's sure to be right up there in people's memories with the JFK assassination and 9/11.

The event will be followed by a live one-hour press conference from the team that signs him to announce that part of the deal was to rename themselves the LeBron Jameses and that everybody in the city has to wear a headband at all times.

Let me shine a little light on you people here. He's staying in Cleveland. He'll get up there and talk about how it's his "hometown" and he could never imagine playing against them and blah, blah, blah.

The fact of the matter is, that he really doesn't have any proven options other than Cleveland. What, he's going to go join Amar'e in New York? Or start over again in New Jersey? Those teams are at least four years away from being viable in playoff talk--let alone win a championship.

So they're out.

Now that Chris Bosh and Dwayne Wade are teaming up in Miami, the Chicago Bulls would have to bank on their B-grade guys (Derrick Rose and Joakim Noah) to lure Bron, so they're out.

So that leaves Miami as the only team outside of Ohio with a shot at the self-proclaimed King.

The guy, who feels it necessary to stop the world with a one-hour televised event to announce his decision, is going to leave what is his team to go join Wade's? Never, ever, ever going to happen.

Miami is always going to be Wade's team, with people around him, even if one of them was the stature of LeBron James.

All in all, nothing really happened this summer. The biggest names stayed in their cities and Los Angeles still has the best team.

But, hey, I could be wrong.*

*Necessary disclaimer by author for when proven wrong.

Feel free to comment on where you think Bron is going to go or any thoughts you have on the NBA in general.